SMACK DOWN!
by Inky Pirate
Summary: What if the ninth and tenth doctor somehow met eachother and had to duel? The outcome may be quite drastic....or just plain silly. WARNING: Much doctor bashing here. I was on a sugar high while writing this. Final Chapter is here! Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Smack Down**

**Disclaimer: I do own Doctor Who! Be afraid, be very afraid! Okay okay I don't, but do you have to rub it in?**

**Author's Note: Before we begin, I will state that I like the Ninth Doctor, not the Tenth. This will not affect the results of this match, I just wanted to profess the truth.**

**Chapter 1 in which is developed the fact that Jack likes legs.**

Okay, here we go……

Firstly, a few descriptive notes to let you get your bearings. Sweaty arena. Sweaty crowd. Among this particular crowd we have: some Cybermen, some Slitheen (how they got here I'll never know, since they are supposed to be either dead or eggified), a tearful Rose, a flirting Jack, some very pleased looking Daleks (who are also supposed to be dead, but who cares really), and many more, too numerous to mention.

A scared looking Tenth Doctor emerges.

DING! Round 1

Tenth Doctor: What! There's more than one round! Can't we get this over with?

The Ninth Doctor steps into the arena jauntily, with a grin on his face. Anybody who knows him can see that he is actually terrified.

Ninth Doctor: Hello everybody! Hello shivering little man over there!

Slitheen: Boooo!

Cybermen: Booooo!

Daleks: Exterminate!

Rose: Go Doctor Ten….erm…not that I'm showing favoritism by saying you're name first. Go to you too Doctor Nine! You can do it…um…both of you!

Jack: Shake it up, bruthas!

And the fight is on! Look at the two glare seethingly at each other!

Ninth Doctor: Man, you're grammar is bad!

That's beside the point! You're supposed to do as I command! Now glare seethingly at each other! Seethingly I say!

Ninth Doctor: Fine :glares seethingly:…..even if seethingly _isn't_ a word.

Tenth Doctor: I really don't want to fight you. Can't we settle over a cup of tea? Otherwise, I'd have to kick your butt in front of everyone. You wouldn't want that….. really.

Ninth Doctor: Cummon nansy pansy! With wits like yours, you wouldn't be able to tell my butt from your own face!

Tenth Doctor: Ohh, now you've done it. I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this. Hiiiiiiiiiya! Whoooooaaah!

Tenth Doctor proceeds to go into karate mode! Look at him go! His hands are like lightning! His kicking legs a blur of alien fury! His….OW that's gotta hurt!

Tenth Doctor: Gaaaaah! I think I pulled my hamstring!

Now we know! Time Lords DO have hamstrings.

Ninth Doctor: If this is what it comes to when I get you mad, then I'll take note in insulting your buttface a lot more!

Rose::to the Tenth Doctor: Are you okay? Oh you are hurt! Wahaha!

Ninth Doctor::to Rose: I glare seethingly at you!

Get up number Ten. Take it like a man!

Tenth Doctor: I might just be able to do that….IF I WAS A MAN YOU IDIOT!

Are all Time Lords this moody?

Ninth Doctor: Nope, I don't know what happened to _him_.

Tenth Doctor: Alright that's it! You're goin' down, clown!

Ninth Doctor::Screams like a girl:

Crowd roars as both Doctors chase each other around the arena! Hmmm, it seems that #10's hamstring has miraculously healed itself!

….10 minutes pass….

…And they are still chasing each other. Can't you two do something a little more…violent?

Jack: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Tenth Doctor: I would….:gasp:…if…I could :gasp: catch him!

Ninth Doctor: Hmm, I knew my ridiculously long legs would come in handy.

Tenth Doctor: Besides looking like a jack rabbit?

Jack: Zzzzz…:snort:…nice legs.

Ninth Doctor: Better than looking like a drowned shrew! (He does, really)

Tenth Doctor: Oh yeah….um… well you've got a…a huge nose::grabs #9's nose and pulls:

Crowd: Gasp!

Ninth Doctor: How dare you! Cubbere you liddle…liddle…

Tenth Doctor: Big Ears, Big teeth! You're more like a jack rabbit than I thought! Look at that hooter! Haha…aaagh!

Ninth Doctor::puts away sonic screwdriver: Now you know what barbed wire feels like. Ha! And might I say your shoes are absolutely hideous!

Tenth Doctor::shrieks with rage: No one disses the Chuck Taylor shoes::rips a pocket off of #9's jacket:

Ninth Doctor: Alright, I was being patient with you before, but this does it. No more mister nice guy::puts #10 into a Full Nelson:

Tenth Doctor::Shriek of rage turns into shriek of agony: Lemme go! Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Ninth Doctor: Say "I'm a prat, I suck frogspawn"! Say it!

Tenth Doctor: No way! I'm not a prat and frogspawn is disgusting!

Ninth Doctor: Well then stay like this::wrenches on #10's arms, causing a few bones to crack audibly:

#10's Bones: Gaaaah, help us! POP POP!

Crowd: SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!

Rose: Please say it Doctor, you're hurting yourself! Oh and…er…good job…other Doctor. Ahaha….

…..15 minutes pass….

Ninth Doctor: I think I'm getting a cramp….

Tenth Doctor: You could just let me go; my arms have probably ceased their proper functions anyway. Then maybe we can work out our differences peacefully.

Ninth Doctor: You really are a prat.

Tenth Doctor: No I'm serious, let's be friends.

Ninth Doctor: Never, not after you stole my Rose! She was my companion! Mine, you hear!

Crowd: Oooooooooh!

Jack: What he's really trying to say is that without Rose, he would never have met such an excellent guy as myself.

And thus begins a climactic stand off in which both Doctors are frozen in an attitude of malice and pain. The suspense is killing me!

Tenth Doctor: Yeah, I wish….

Well excuse me, I have been waiting patiently for you guys to actually…well….do something.

Tenth Doctor: Like I'm gonna do what you like! If it weren't for you I could be finishing up those booties for K9.

Crowd: Awwwww!

Jack: I thought those were for me. looks hurt

Ninth Doctor: And if it weren't for you I'd…….wait a minute, I'd still be dead!

I guess I'm not all bad eh?

Ninth Doctor: Oh no no no, that's not gonna get me to like you. I'm only alive so I can be in this stupid match. Don't you understand the concept of Rest In Peace? Just put a sock in it before I sick Jack on you!

Jack::Winks coyly: My pleasure. Roowr!

Okay ew, can we just get on with the match?

Tenth Doctor::Raises eyebrows:

Oh all right! I promise to shut up. Just don't let him near me.

And the fight continues….

Tenth Doctor: So….I'm still stuck like this….

Ninth Doctor: Yup.

Tenth Doctor: No chance of you letting go and us being friends?

Ninth Doctor: Nope…….prat.

Tenth Doctor: How bout for a banana?

Ninth Doctor: Got lotsa bananas.

Tenth Doctor: Not even a big, yellow, foot-long, squishy, scrumptious banana?

Ninth Doctor::Fights the temptation:….no….

Tenth Doctor: Cummon, you know you want one. Right here. Right now. A perfectly smooth banana, mostly yellow but a little green, so it's still firm, not too ripe. The peel just slides right down and inside is a not-too-hard-not-too-soft pale yellow banana. No brown spots. You take a bite and it just pops into your mouth….

Ninth Doctor: Mmmmmm…..

:Whispering: Ahem, it seems #9 has fallen into a sort of daze. He's drooling; mumbling something about a pie….with bananas if I'm not mistaken. OWCH! THAT HAS GOT TO HURT!

Tenth Doctor: You may have wrecked my arms but my feet work just fine. Say hello to Chuck Taylor shoes! Ha!

Ninth Doctor: Gaaaaah::Writhes in agony on the ground:

Foul play, I say. No one deserves being kicked there!

Ninth Doctor::whimper: Shut up…..you!

Tenth Doctor: Muahahahaha…

Rose: Oh dear oh my oh golly gosh gee whiz holy smokes! Are you alright Doctor? Good going Doctor::faints:

Jack: Tut tut, that is a shame…

Ninth Doctor: And you two….shut up….too…gaaah!

Jack: Watcha gonna do? Groan me to death? Or perhaps sick me on myself…..hey I like that idea…..rowr!

Erm….o-kee….Anywho, it seems as if the Ninth Doctor won't be recovering to finish the match. Which means that #10 has ultimately won!

Crowd: WOOT WOOT!

Tenth Doctor: Whoopedy Doodle!

Rose::gets up: I'm okay, really! Who won?

Jack: I am both happy and sad.

The end of round one! Stick around for round two my friends!

Jack: Drinks anyone?

Rose: Good try Doctor Nine! Not that I'm showing favoritism to you. Good job number Ten! Not that I had any hope of you winning…or loosing either. :sigh:

To all a good night folks!

Ninth Doctor: Good night my ass! Shove it or I'll…agh! I glare seethingly at you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Round 2 of Smack Down!**

**Author's Note: The exact moment I am writing this very sentence, not even I know what is going to happen next. Scary, huh?**

**Chapter 2 in which Jack eats some teeth.**

Welcome back to Smack Down! Thank you all for returning to behold the results of round two of this exciting event! To bring you up on past events, let me just say, bluntly, that #9 suffered a dismal defeat last week due to a weakness that can only be put in one word. Banana! Ah yes, it gets us all sooner or later. We still have two rounds to go so let's not judge him too harshly eh? Every guy has his weakness, whether it be Super Man's kryptonite or a banana.

Ninth Doctor::sarcastically: Your encouraging words astound me.

And never fear! Our favorite faces have returned. Along with the usual alien crowd, we have both Rose and Jack with us again.

Jack: I really just came back to see you again. :winks:

Rose: Big smile! Look happy! All this rubbish will get sorted out in the end. Ahaha! You like them both equally! After all, they're the same person. But one's dead? No he just reincarnated himself. Don't miss the old one, that's for sure! But you liked him! I _like_ him; he's the same as the tenth one. Is he really? Why does he hate himself so bad then? My head really hurts now!

Poor Rose. Perhaps she needs some coffee.

Jack: I'll get her some of my own. It's got a special flavor: Jackolicious!

Ninth Doctor: Is THAT why you always wanted to make the coffee! I actually drank that stuff you know!

DING! Round 2

Tenth Doctor: Oh boy!

Rose: This coffee is great!

Ninth Doctor: You are goin' down shrew!

Tenth Doctor: Ah, just like I did in the last round. I'm shaking in my boots!

Rose: Can I have the recipe. My mum would love this.

Jack: I know.

Ninth Doctor: Well I hated it!

Jack: It has bananas in it.

Ninth Doctor: Really, that stuff was delicious, can I have the recipe too?

Tenth Doctor: Hiiiiya::karate chops #9:

But #9 steps nimbly aside and……

Tenth Doctor: No, oh no, no no no. Stop that you!

Ah, the Tenth Doctor is ticklish!

Rose: That looks fun and totally friendly! They will be pals!

Ninth Doctor: Rose, you are very dear to me, but undoubtedly the dumbest ape I have ever met::continues to viciously tickle #10:

Rose: You are so sweet!

Tenth Doctor: I'm gonna wet my pants! Gahahahaha!

Ninth Doctor: No need to shout it out! Everybody knows!

Tenth Doctor: Stop, please, I beg of you!

Ninth Doctor: Are those cries for mercy? You're not in pain.

Tenth Doctor: Yes….I…:wheeze:…am!

Ninth Doctor: Then why are you laughing?

Tenth Doctor: Can't….:wheeze:….breathe!

Ninth Doctor: Uh oh.

Rose: That does not look fun OR friendly! Stop that! Oh, but good job, because I want you to win. And him too! Coz you're both the same person!

Ninth Doctor::gasp: What? I am deeply offended::stops tickling:

Tenth Doctor::wheeze wheeze: ooooooooooh…….

Rose: Okay, you're right, I'm wrong. Just keep on….erm…dueling. Go…you two very singular people!

Jack: What's…singular? And….offended? And…wheeze?

Rose::flops into seat: There is no possible way this could get any worse!

Dalek in Crowd: I bet I could think of a few.

Rose: Crap! Now that I've said that, it will!

:Whispers: Just wait till she sees what role Mickey will play in this! Hehehe!

Rose: What was that?

Um, I mean…or…I said, is that a mole or a hickey on Jack's wrist?

Rose: No that's just some Jackolicious he spilled.

Jack: Um, that's right…

Ninth Doctor: Enough banter on bodily impressions::turns to #10, who is still trying to regain his breathe: I pummel you fiercely! Haha. Check your dictionary! Fiercely IS a word!

Yes, very good #9, and I do believe I've used it before! You're so very smart.

Ninth Doctor: But…but…what about….you used….

Tenth Doctor: Hello! I'm waiting to be pummeled fiercely here!

Ninth Doctor: Oh right…..:begins punching #10 in what can be assumed: a fierce manner:

#10's Teeth: Wheeeee! Somebody catch us!

Ninth Doctor: You don't look so pretty no more! Muahahaha!

Tenth Doctor: I am in severe pain. I am beginning to regret messing with you::whinge whinge, whine whine:

Wow, he's being unusually submissive! Is this another trick?

Tenth Doctor::spits out more teeth: Well it WOULD have been if you hadn't said anything! Sheesh!

Teeth: We are cold, so very cold!

I guess we shall never find out what #10 had up his sleeve.

Tenth Doctor: Nope.

Ninth Doctor: Dang it! You ruined my surprise…

Rose::Itches to grab teeth up off floor: Poor little Doctor teeth. They were so straight and perfect…

Jack::Grabs them instead: Mmmmm, M&M's someone dropped. The white kind too!

Tenth Doctor: Hath anyone theen my teef?

Ninth Doctor: Oh I see them! They're over there::points to far side of arena:

Tenth Doctor: Tankoo…

But as he bends down to grab the teeth (that aren't really there), the ninth Doctor boots him in the rear, sending him bouncing away!

Crowd: Ohhhhhh!

Rose: Booo! And yaaay!

Jack: I know his pain…

Tenth Doctor: Being kicked by a jack rabbit….quite painful….oof!

But the Ninth Doctor will tell you, being kicked by a shrew in Chuck Taylor shoes isn't so grand either.

Ninth Doctor: You just keep quiet. Jack really wants to sit by you, you know.

Okay, shutting up here.

Tenth Doctor: I will not be humiliated like this::gets to his feet and takes up a boxing stance:

Ninth Doctor: Bring it on!

And he swings!...And he misses. And he swings!...And…..he misses again. Swing! Miss! Swing! Miss! Swing! Miss!

Crowd: Swing, miss! Swing, miss!

It's swing! Miss! Not Swing, miss!

Crowd: Swing, miss! Swing, miss!

Ooh, I get it…..

Ninth Doctor::Dances around arena: You can't catch me!

Tenth Doctor: Damn…legs!

Rose: Duck and weave, you! Left hook right hook, you!

Tenth Doctor: Alright, that's it::stops: You really need to choose what side you're on, Rose.

Ninth Doctor: Yeah! I mean….I am not agreeing with him. I'm definitely not a prat!

Rose: I'm on both your sides.

Tenth Doctor: You cheering him on isn't giving me a lot of confidence you know. Just choose a side. I promise I won't be offended if you pick him. :gives Rose a murderous glare:

Rose: Um, I don't think that would be safe. I like both of you equally. Not that you're the same people. Very independent of each other, that's for sure. Very singular! Ahaha…

Jack: Everyone would love if there were two of me around here.

Okay, I'm tired of being quiet! Both of you leave Rose alone and get on with the fight. If you don't I'm gonna have to give you guys the Bad Behaviour Bracelets!

Tenth/Ninth Doctor::gasp:

Rose: No!

Jack: She said singular again. What DOES that mean…

Ninth Doctor: We'd kill eachother!

Exactly.

Tenth Doctor: Okay okay, we're fighting. See? Here we go, right now. No need to do that.

Bad Behaviour Bracelets: Darn it, we really wanted to electrocute someone!

And at last the fight continues! They circle each other, looking for an opening. #9 dives, but misses #10 by inches. #10 leaps into the fray and manages to grab #9's collar and put him in a headlock. I think #10 has the upper hand! Will he be victorious! Will he be the ultimatum of the two doctors!

Tenth Doctor: Not after you've just said that I won't!

Ninth Doctor: Yay for me I guess::trips #10 and begins to strangle him:

Rose: No! Don't hurt him, please Doctor::gives #9 a heartrending, puppy dog look:

Ninth Doctor: No, not the heartrending puppy dog look::lets go of #10:

Tenth Doctor: Haha, you have more weaknesses than I thought. Hahahahah…aaarrrgh!

The Ninth Doctor has grabbed hold of #10's hair! Oh this could be it folks!

Tenth Doctor: Yes it is! Please let go, I forfeit this match! Just don't ruin my lovely hair!

And he has said the magic words! The match is over!

Ninth Doctor: Yup, definitely a prat.

Tenth Doctor::strokes hair: You wouldn't understand!

Ninth Doctor: Nope, I would not. :grins evilly:

Thank you all for joining us in this very exciting match. Be sure to drop by later, for the final match that could determine the fate of both Doctors! See you next time. Don't bring the kids!

Jack: You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!

Rose: I will both celebrate and mourn. :whispers: Only one more to go. Oh God, the thought is killing me! I'm gonna be sick! Blllagh!

Jack: Ew! I just bought these pants!

Tenth Doctor: It's okay, my glorious hair. Mummy won't let the mean, bald man hurt you. Never ever ever.

Ninth Doctor: Can I have a banana now?


	3. Chapter 3

**The Third and Final Round of SMACK DOWN!**

**Author's Note: All I can say is….go number 9! Go number 9! I still don't know what is going on….**

**Chapter 3 in which Mickey gets the mickey.**

Okay people, let's cut two the chase. This is the last round, which means that you have to be excited about it. Doctor #9 lost in round one due to his infatuation with a certain yellow fruit. But, so it happens, he got his revenge by threatening #10's hair. I don't know about you, but this has thus far proved to be the weirdest and most unorthodox fight (if we can call it that), in many a moon.

Tenth Doctor: I'm sleepy. Wanna go home.

I'm not even going to try and convince you that these two are remotely cunning in any way.

Ninth Doctor: You call this cutting to the chase?

Any who, before we begin, let me turn your attention first to both Rose and Jack, who have returned to witness this final round.

Rose: Whoopedy freakin' doodah…

Jack: I'm throwing the congrats party! Won't that be fun!

And joining us shortly will be a very special guest:wink wink:

Jack: Santa Clause, oh boy!

DING! Round 3! Dun dun dun!

The two doctors enter the arena, #9 sneering unpleasantly and the other…..erm….wearing a hairnet?

Tenth Doctor: I can't let him get his monkey fingers on my hair again!

The roaring crowd is punctuated by crows of amusement.

Jack: Why is my old lunch lady standing up there?

Rose: Must…not…laugh. Must…be…supportive!

Ninth Doctor: No matter, you're going to wish I HAD gotten your hairnet when I'm finished with you :leaps at #10:

Tenth Doctor::casually sprays #9 with mace:

Crowd: Oooooooooh!

Ninth Doctor: AAAARGH! I'm blind!

Tenth Doctor::pats hair net: It's my lucky one, you know.

Rose: Oh dear, oh me, oh my, let me get some eye drops::rummages through bag: Lip gloss, no. Mirror, no. Rubber duck, no. Beanie baby, no. Bread knife, no.….

Jack: Excuse me, I will take that :snatches back Beanie baby: MY Teddy Cranberry, so there!

Ninth Doctor: Hello, writhing in pain here! Waiting for an eye drop!

Rose: Sorry, I don't have any.

After fifteen minutes of careful consultation, it is assumed that no one in the entire building carries eye drops at this moment.

Dalek in Crowd: What do you expect?

Ninth Doctor: In those fifteen minutes, I have successfully rubbed my eyes in an oozy pulp, and can no longer feel any pain. Thanks anyway though.

Tenth Doctor: Then I can start chasing you?

Ninth Doctor: Yes.

And so, another chase begins, and although he is completely blind and is continuously bouncing off of things, #9 still manages to elude #10.

Rose: Run Doctors, run!

Jack: I run, I run so far away!

#10 dashes in to intercept the sightless doctor, but it seems #9's frenzied prancing does more than look utterly ridiculous.

Ninth Doctor:stops: I am NOT prancing!

Jack: Prancer? Where's Prancer? Santa is coming! Yay!

Cavorting, flouncing, frolicking, whatever!

Ninth Doctor: Cavorting is okay, but never prancing!

Shall I go through the trouble of explaining to him that they are practically the same thing? I even have proof. I looked in my synonym dictionary. No? I didn't think so. His head is about as hard as a banana is squishy.

Tenth Doctor: You know, without all your interruptions, we could be done a lot faster.

Sorry, but without me, no one would get what was happening. I'm one of those essential entities, or something. It said so in the contract.

Ninth Doctor: And you know, if you didn't stop to tell her that her useless chattering was a waste of time, we would be done even faster!

Jack: These long sentences are making my brain hurt.

Tenth Doctor: I'm cutting to the chase now :scratches #9's face:

Ninth Doctor: Wait a tick, is that blood?

Oh my giddy aunt, that's the first drop of blood I've seen so far. This really is pathetic.

Tenth Doctor: Not even when my teeth got knocked out? Wow, that's strange.

Rose: Can't stand it! Poor Doctor blood escaping everywhere. :sneakily reaches into purse and withdraws a bottle of….something:

Ninth Doctor: Ha, I take revenge by zapping you with my sonic screwdriver!

Jack: Why a screwdriver? Why not a…sonic chainsaw, or how about a…sonic power drill?

Ninth Doctor: Hey, where's your screech of pain eh?

Tenth Doctor::looks down at scorch mark: Oh, right. AAAARGH!

Rose: This isn't booze :cough cough: this is…eye drops!

Tenth Doctor::whips out a towel and lashes a Rat's Tail over #9's behind:

Ninth Doctor::girly squeal here:

DING!

Tenth Doctor: What was that?

That's the bell, announcing intermission time. (See, where would you be without me.)

Ninth Doctor: We have intermission now::rubs backside:

Well, something really outrageous is about to happen so we have to build up your excitement. Oh and also we need at least one commercial break to sponsor this crap show.

Jack: Starring me!

:Commercial comes on:

_Jack is standing behind a counter, holding up a bottle of some body cream or spray._

_Jack: Did you know that over 70 percent of the inhabitants of this universe suffer from balding? Well that is because that is not true. Actually, over 80 percent suffer from balding, whether it be at the crown of their head, or between their fungus-ridden toes._

_:Pictures of a Slitheen and a patchy yeti slide across the screen:_

_Jack: If you are like one of these people, then we just may have the answer for you! With our Hair Revival product, you will receive satisfying results in little under fourteen years._

_:Pictures of a carrot-top Slitheen, and a big brown bush that can only be assumed, is a yeti, slide across the screen: _

_Jack: So, do you have hair trouble? Are tufts of hair falling out within short intervals? Are you finding your hair in places it ought not to be? Hair decay? Hair resentment? Hair rebellion? Hair mutation? If you are suffering from any of these hair problems, then call this toll free number now. 1-800-FEET. Again, call this number: 1-800-FEET._

:End of commercial:

THAT'S our sponsor?

Jack: I was on TV!

Tenth Doctor: Luckily, I don't need any of that!

Anyway, I hope that commercial has set your pulses goin' because it is now time to introduce our special guest!

Jack: Santa Clause! Santa Clause!

Before this event began, a raffle was held, and who ever had their name drawn would enter the ring to be mercilessly tortured by the two Doctors!

Rose: This is not going anywhere nice, is it?

Over a million contestants applied, but coincidentally, and with a bit of forgery, only one would be the winner. And he is…..Mickey Whathisface!

Mickey::appears in center of arena: Hey where am I? They told me I'd won a life time supply of corn dogs!

Rose: Aaaagh! Mickey!

Jack: That is NOT Santa Claus! Where's the cherry nose and the white beard?

Ninth Doctor: So…Rickey…another contestant vying for….whatever it is we're supposed to be winning here?

Mickey: It's Mickey, and actually, all I wanted was corn dogs….

Tenth Doctor: Isn't that what we all want? But do we get them? No!

Ninth Doctor: You've probably been lounging in your Lazy Boy, slobbering at our torture? But no longer, my friend!

Mickey: Actually, I was looking after a family of abandoned…

Ninth Doctor:….getting fat off your toffees and French fries!

Tenth Doctor:….crocheting whenever you want!

Jack: ….with a hot babe in your lap!

Tenth Doctor: Well, not that. I think it would be quite impossible to crochet and get a lap dance at the same time.

Jack: I would find a way, so there!

Mickey: You've got this all wrong, both of you! I don't even know what's going on, and I don't croch….

Ninth Doctor: Diiiiie!

Tenth Doctor: No, he's mine!

Yowch! Both Doctors have grabbed one of Mickey's arms and have fashioned themselves a sick game of tug-o-war!

Mickey: Aaargh!

Ninth Doctor: Let me have him! I shall be his killer, not you!

Tenth Doctor: No way, glory hog!

Mickey: I'm gonna rip!

Rose: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Both Doctors stop pulling!

Crowd::bated breath:

Rose: I know what side I'm on now, busters. :climbs into arena and belts the two doctors over the head with her bag:

Ninth Doctor::before falling senseless: Owch, that lip gloss smarts…

Tenth Doctor::before falling senseless: My hairnet's mussed up……

Mickey: Phew, I was about to become Stretch Armstrong there. Thanks Rose.

Rose: I choose you Mickey! Those two were idiots!

Wow, this was unexpected! And I do believe that this names Rose the ultimate winner, having clocked both Timelords out by herself!

Crowd::outrageous cheers:

This is absolutely astounding. It will go down in history!

Mickey: Do I get my corn dogs now?

Rose: Yes, let's eat!

The stands slowly empty as everyone departs filled with satisfaction. Behind them are left the bodies of the two senseless Timelords, who shall, hereafter, be ridiculed as shameful dorks!

Jack: Lap dances at my place!

Santa: Me first!

**End Note: I thank you all for being so supportive. Feel free to review as you desire. This is my first ever fic and I always have room for improvement. Peace out.**


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